tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
