DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize