I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize