if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just high enough for therapy.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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