Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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