if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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