Will you blow on my dice?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
