But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
