So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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