It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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