As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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