it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
