did you get engaged???
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
