She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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