what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
