Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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