i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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