Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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