i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
