god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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