My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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