Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
