i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
