Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
