i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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