She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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