we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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