Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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