You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm too high and old for this...
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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