quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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