I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize