So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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