gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
All I want is dick and wine.
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