it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize