I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I faked an abortion last night.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
