I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I want to fling myself into the sun
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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