So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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