I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize