it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
