Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
