I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
