Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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