just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
