someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
