Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just had sex on a roof
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
