wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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