I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
