Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
