i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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