Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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