Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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