just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
