: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
