Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I could make wine with my vomit
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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