i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
We smell like vodka and hangover
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