He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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