What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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