so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
