I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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