Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
