it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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