Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just puked most of my soul out..
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