I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
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I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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